Thoughts On Waste

Thoughts Of Waste

I grew up in a highly complicated house. No one will admit, but the children of the matriarchal household were emotionally abused for years. I love my bio-parents. I just don't like them very much. I feel as if they both needed help.

If you were male, the matriarchal proposed to you that you were a slave. I recall for many years how my Mom would belittle my Dad. And if the trash needed taken out, she would pry, whine, gripe, harass until he finally got fed up and did it.

If you were female in this matriarchal home I grew up in, you were groomed to be a wife. The matriarch prefered you not leave said house until you were getting married. (then she would threaten to keep you from getting married if the man you loved was not made of money) You were harassed into learning how to cook, clean, make beds and rise against men.

I learned my lessons. But I never thought of my potential. I always tried to impress the matriarch. I learned what she had to teach, looked at the world through her warped perceptions and never thought of myself more than that. I found a love when I was fifteen with computers. The internet. Self taught in java script, html...I could dazzle the pants off people as I keyed up a website in about a minute. I would create graphics. I would play with any free graphics designer I could get to. I spent numurous hours playing with flaming text.com. HOURS.

My little rant here is this: Are we living up to our potential? Are we trying to learn something new every day? Paul and I had a discussion on this. We know that more than 90% of human life doesn't live up to their potential. God gives us free will. HE will dictate our lives. HE will make sure we follow HIS plans. But, God loves us to learn. I make this naive assumption because of how many lessons God gives us on a weekly (if not daily) basis.

It peeves me madly because I have a long list of people I know aren't living up to the potential God gave them at birth.

Case: Older Brother, Albert Jr: (I rant about him often)

At the age of sixteen, Albert Jr was in high school plays. He sang and if I'm thinking right, had someone offer him a scholarship in music to go through college. (Most memorable, Albert in a hand made polka dot bikini for the number named after the swimsuit!)

Then, he went to a local community college, had a nervous breakdown, went bald and suddenly changed. Personally, I think my brother needs a psychologist. And anger management.

Here are my reasons why:

Albert has been married twice. Both unsuccessful marriages. Why? Well, first, he picks them stupid and not willing to work. Ex-wife Shelly worked maybe a week. She quit because her "back hurt". This is the same woman who had her kids taken away from her because she couldn't support them. I actually liked Shelly, except she was an idiot. All things considered, I thought she would fix herself. That's just wishful thinking. Then there is the soon-to-be ex wife Cassie. I hated Cassie from the very beginning. There's just some people you get bad vibes from right away. I found out why. The girl is insane! She needs meds. LIke, seriously. No, doctors have said Cassie needs meds for her bi-polarizism. Example, she argued with someone on the phone, yanked the cord from the wall and threw it at my brother! WTF? Cassie was also unwilling to work. She worked with my brother at Burger King for three days then decided to quit.

Second reason the marriages failed? My brother has a nasty, nasty short temper. He also believes women belong bare footed, pregnant and the single cooker, cleaner, etc of the household. I learned this quickly watching him at his house when he was married to Shelly. He yelled at her for burning a meal he was going to serve us. (no kids so far, thank God)(still not divorced from his other wife and tries dating other girls. Claims to be a saved man too.)

Three: My brother has decided that he will work at Burger King until he dies. The man is soon to be 38 years old. He's worked at Burger King since he was seventeen! I mean, he left Burger King when he moved to Lyons, KS with his ex, but worked at Mcdonalds down there. STILL FAST FOOD! And he's not even management! He's a grunt! They tried promoting him, but Albert let the power go to his head and starting acting like he owned everyone!

Four: The man acts like he's eighteen. Seriously.

Five: No car. He's had his license since he was sixteen, wrecked two cars and has no car because his lifetime career at Burger King leaves him just enough to get his seizure medication (no medical insurance, so he pays full price) and then maybe, twenty dollars to last until the next paycheck. He gambles, so this is where the money that doesn't help pay rent at my folk's place or his pills goes.

Six: He lives with my parents! That boy has moved out and moved back in with my parents for the past six years. He lived with a friend and his family for about eight months until his temper got him kicked out. He lived with another friend for about six months until he got on their nerves. He lived with my sister (the one I helped move out and move to KC in August 2008) but owes them backrent, money for the damages he cause to their Dodge Neon and phone expenses for calling **x lines.

Now what makes me think Albert needs counseling? WELL, if all I have said wasn't enough, he wrote a blog (copied and pasted just the way he wrote it):

sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I didnt have a family tht supported me.Friends tht would always be there to back me up.My family has always been there and all and so has been my friends.But are they enough,No.I would love to have a woman in my life tht doesnt look for looks,wealth,or a car.The woman needs to accept me for me not for what I have.anyway,what I was saying is this,I was wondering why I am here on this earth,but I am not going to ask the person above why,he has his reasons why,and I have not found tht yet,but he will show me the way.I am pondering all this because I have had bad luck with women and friends and cant be a good judge of character.I was hoping if all u women,tht are on my friends list to figure it out for me.I know one will just want a lot of input on this.thanks for all of this.

to which little sister and I replied:

Albert...

Lecture time again...

Let me come right out with it: YOU'RE A F**NG IDIOT!

Now, let me elaborate:

You said on your myspace that a woman should love you for you. Only your sisters will do that. Even then, it's very hard. Now, do you want a wife, or another sister?

Speaking of sisterly love, Steffie and I took a poll down at the plaza for you. We tried to stick to single women, then realized you didn't have any preferences. We described your personality and current situation then asking which they would do if you asked them out: tell you to go f**k off or accept you are with no car, working at burger king, being currently married already, and living with your parents. The results are as follows: 15% said they would tell you to f**k off, 40% just looked at us weird and walked away. And the other 55% looked as if we were comedians. We consider these to be positive results that only 15% said no. Oh, there was a 0.00001% that actually thought about it for 2.2 seconds, but judging by the multi-colored hair and markings on her arms that resembled that of a drug addict, we decided she was not a reliable source.

Plain and simply put in response to your myspace post. REAL women (and I emphasize on the real part as I haven't considered anything you've married so far to be real) want a dependable male.

Allow me to explain. Money DOES NOT grow on trees. According to marriage counselers all over the world, money problems make up at least 75% of marriage problems. If either partner is stressed because of money, the relationship falters. No one wants to barely make it. You seem to pick women who can't hold a job. With this economy, women are truly wanting a male who will bring home the bacon to where maybe the woman's paycheck will be gravy money.

Looks ARE NOT everything. However, you better be great in all the other aspects of your life. I won't apologize for society as that is not my place. Society is shallow. Looks are everything to them. A woman wants a guy who is good looking or at least takes care of himself. I think my husband is great. Even if he grew a beard, was over 300 lbs and bucktoothed, I would love him still and would have chosen him because he has the rest of his life in check. He's kind, he respects women, he thinks of me first, he cooks, he cleans, he's into the 50/50 relationship and works hard. YOU, Albert Jr, are short tempered, lazy, refuse to find other work to sustain yourself, have no respect for women (remember that I have spoken to quite a few of your ex's via myspace), lack ambition to better yourself and have streetsmarts for the most part but lack the kind of book smarts that attract women.

Women do not want a guy who is living with his folks. Especially since, although you still think you are eighteen, you are almost fourty. By now, a woman would hope that you would have been living on your own for a long *ss time. And, maybe, just maybe, be able to show her your place and impress her with how clean it is. Women do check out the guy's apartment. We see it as a reflection of how you will treat us. (women also, for the most part, DO NOT want to hear about your ex's or hear that you are married. You proposed to *blah friend* and she's still married. If you are a saved man, you know that's taboo. You shouldn't re-marry nor ask anyone else to leave their mate for you. Nor should you be dating while you are still married as that is adultry. Via the Bible, I can already tell you that God is disappointed and is trying to teach you how to live right.)

I have sleep to get. I have a long weekend. You think about what I said. I will be on facebook should you ever want to chat and hear some more truths. Yes, I do know what I am talking about. I have been through ALOT more than you and that gives me more experience. I want my whole family to better themselves. I lecture you out of maybe, just maybe, bringing you to a better path.

That's end of case #1.

Second case:

My brother in law, M, that is married to my little sister. When I first met him, he was a workaholic. He worked as a car hop about 45-50 hours a week. He kept his apartment clean. He helpd make decisions and was an awesome guy.

I can't say I blame all of this on M. I blame my little sister too. However, M could have helped more.

M and my little sister were kicked out of their last apartment due to my little sister not paying rent. Like I said, not all M's fault. But he knew rent wasn't being paid and could have changed that. M also was working as a taxi driver making maybe $100-$150 every week.

When we generously moved M and my sister to KC (rented them a storage unit for all their things, rented a uhaul up in St Joseph to move them here with their stuff, allowed them to live with us from August to December) M was a jerk! He's never ever said thank you for helping us out. Or, thanks for being there. Nope. Just grumbles and a visible hate on for us.

M used to play his world of warcraft for hours too. When he lived with us, I would find him on the computer playing that stinking game at 6am when I was getting ready to leave for work. I would then come home and find him still on it!

M also didn't look seriously for a job until I yelled at him. I mean, I got in his face after taking three months of his sh** and told him I was tired of my little sister having to scrimp and save. I was tired of her barely making it and I wanted him to act like a man, get a pair and get a job. He finally got a job about a week later. At a restuarant doing dishes. For three hours a day. For three days a week. And when they offered him a promotion after 4 weeks, he turned them down because he didn't want to work that hard he told me. I yelled at him for that too.

Then, here's the kicker, M asked my sister if he could put his 2 weeks notice in after they finally found a small, run down house to move into because they couldn't get into a nicer place because of the multiple evictions they had that he didn't help them avoid by not pulling his financial weight. Little sister exploded and said no, he couldn't quit his job!

A month later, M thought he was sly and began giving away his hours at work to other people. My sister caught on and told him that he *had* to work. Then, his job stopped giving him the hours he needed and they fell behind on bills again (after they lived with us and caught up on the multiple bills there were behind on that totalled over $1000). My husband and I lectured him on the reason his job stopped giving him hours (after he came with my sister to dinner and whined to me on what his job was doing to him!): duh! His bosses caught on that he didn't want to work, obviously.

Last week, I got him a job interview at my workplace. All he had to do (and we gave him directions and he said he had it) was show up to the interview on time, look nice and do great on the interview. He was fifteen minutes late, I don't know if he looked good because when he saw my husband afterwards, he had on kaki pants and a shirt that wouldn't go with any tie.

Oi.

I digress. These are two examples of what I see on a daily basis. No one wants to work towards anything. No one wants to set goals for their lives. You set goals at your place of employment, yes? Life isn't different!

*shakes head*